whew. i made it.
before i forget, i want to share today's horoscope. blah, blah blah, you've had a tense two or three days, blah, blah, blah, the only area of stress that may be hitting you is some stress or work related health issue.....holy cow... BANG ON!
so i went to my new job. it is so quaint and lovely. so peaceful and pretty. but it nearly killed me!
whenever i am about to try something new, i get myself completely worked up. i worry because i am a worrier. i worry about things that will probably never happen. i worry that i don't know everything and then i will appear stupid. i hate that about me. it is called "lacking self-confidence".
i am not sure why i suffer from this. in many areas of my life i actually feel extremely confident. i am really good at lowering a fever. i am a really good driver. ok so i won't go on and on (because sadly, i can't think of anything else right now...it'll come to me later).
anyway, what i'm getting to is that being offered a job and accepting it confidently is something i had no trouble doing. preparing for it is a different story. doing it is even more frightening.
so much to remember. so much i could do wrong. so much lack of self-confidence.
first day, my body was tense and my hands shook. second day, still not at ease. but, i made it through and didn't mess anything up.
so then i come home and my body tries to relax, but it can't. the tension is painful. in my shoulders, my neck, my jaw. i went to bed only to wake up way too early with a terribly kink in my neck and a gigantic headache. i also must have been grinding my teeth all night. thank you advil.
feeling better now. i just need to relax.
every tuesday will get easier.
so ya, the horoscope was exactly perfect!!
(and i will think of some things i am good at....)
