discovering...day 31!...spooky fun too.

so i made it to day 31.
enjoy our halloween while i chat.
(i got creative with the photo editing) 

challenge was a good word for it.
try 31 days of writing on the same topic sometime.
i dare you.

as hard as it was somedays,
it was a month i will never forget.

learned a lot about myself.

checked things off lists...

made new plans.

created some new rules to live by.

i have a new perspective on things.

i did some forgiving
and i said what needed to be said.

october 2011.
42 years old.
not only did i figure out why i am this way,
i also decided to stop beating myself up about it.

happy halloween
and
cheers to highly sensitive people.
xox

discovering...days 29 & 30

i love halloween...
reminds me of being a kid.
become someone else for a night.
wear red lipstick.
this year i was a gypsy.
i LOVED being a gypsy...
she wasn't in her 40's.
i think she was in her 20's.
i am going to be her more often in real life.
xox

discovering...day 28

Dr. Taylor has an amazing story to tell.
Watch the TED video to learn more.
Jill Bolte Taylor's stroke of insight | Video on TED.com


I can pick up on someone's energy
within seconds of them entering my space.


I can't exactly describe what it feels like,
but if someone is anxious, stressed or upset
my chest tightens
and i feel like i need more air.


If someone's not really connecting with me
I feel like I'm physically separated from them.


But if someone is being sincere, loving and attentive
(eye contact is key)
I feel like they are a part of me.
It's a good feeling...


We all want this.
Practice giving good energy.

discovering...day 27

i forgave someone today.
i did it for me,
but it turned into a gift for both of us.

don't wait another day.
just do it.

xox

discovering...day 26

i love deeply.
i do it with my whole heart.
if i love you...I LOVE YOU.
nothing changes it's strength.
even if you hurt me...
or break my heart...
i still love you.
it may seem like i love you less,
but that is just my protective force field. :)
it's my defense mechanism.
it stays up until i feel trust again.
so, if you love me
choose your words carefully,
consider how i may react to your actions
and you will receive
all the love you can handle.
xox

discovering...day 25

as promised...
eye candy.

i originally planned on just a few photos,
but i quickly changed my mind...
and so i will share all of my favourites
from day 25.

funny how this post directly relates to where my
head was today...

open minded,
detail oriented.

fully aware and affected by colour.

things were in ultra focus.

i was peeling back the layers.

seeing love differently.

feeling grateful for change.

accepting the sensitive me.

and thinking creatively.

the changes have already started to happen...
blossoming you could say.

discovering...day 24

So here I am...
24 days in.
I'm pretty sure that I have lost readers by now.
I believe that you either understand this information
because you are "one" or you know "one"...
...or not.
There will be people in my life (and blogland) who
won't "get it".
I can see how this can happen...
because everyone has some of the same traits as me.
Many people have hurt feelings,
regrets, a love of art and music...or a gut instinct.
Others may not enjoy crowded places, negative people
or stressful situations.
But you won't understand unless you are like me.
I really am a highly sensitive person.

My brain never shuts down.
I hear everything going on around me.
I enter a room and observe every little detail.
I take things personally.
I am my own worst critic.
And when I haven't taken the time I need to recharge...
my body shuts down.
My muscles tighten and my joints become painful.
I get terrible headaches and I have no energy.
Stress, anxiety and overstimulation actually makes me sick.

I understand completely how this sounds like
an excuse or something.
A reason to be selfish...
but this is not true.
This is about me finding out why I react, feel, think
and learn the way I do.
It's been a relief to discover that I
have options on how to deal with overstimulation.
And how amazing is it to find out
that I can offer positive "stuff" to the
people in my life?
What an "aha moment" to finally figure out
that not everyone is as sensitive as me...
and they're not "insensitive"...they're just the other 80%...
...fascinating...
isn't it?
This is where the change begins.
I see everything differently now.
It's time to re-write certain parts of my past
(because I probably took things too personally)
and move forward with some new rules.
it's a beautiful thing.
I'm going to finish the month off
on a lighter note.
Good stuff...easy reading...
eye candy...positive self-loving thoughts....
...good night...
xoxox

discovering...day 23

I am taking Sunday off and handing it over to an article I recently read...enjoy!

Recharge Your Energy

By Jenna Avery, CLC

As a sensitive person, good energy-management skills are a must. This means tuning in to yourself on a regular basis and continually reassessing and adjusting what you take on. 

It's a real balancing act. 

And sometimes, despite your best intentions, your energy gets drained and you feel out of balance. 

The key, then, is to know how to quickly and easily recharge your energy.

Step 1. Make a Course Correction

You can take your power back by stopping to look critically at what you're doing and why you're doing it. Drop anything and everything that isn't aligned with your *own* highest priorities, and give yourself permission to seriously reconsider other events and plans. 

As a sensitive person, you absolutely have to prioritize your self-care and learn to manage your schedule and energy well, or you jeopardize your ability to engage with others or do your soul's work with any real impact.

When I get too busy, I do exactly this kind of strategizing, focused on rebalancing my energy. The first clue that I've entered the "spin cycle" of over-doing and over-giving is when I start feeling cranky or resentful. 

These powerful emotional messengers always get my attention and get me into action to course-correct. 

It's a powerful reminder of "oxygen-mask thinking" -- that in order to support the people who rely on me, I had to put on my own oxygen-mask FIRST by taking the time to renew my own energy.

Step 2. Recharge Your Energy

Once you re-orient your schedule and your life to your own priorities, including your own self-care, take some time to recharge before forging ahead. 

Sometimes you can get so "spun out" that you can't think of a single thing that will help. I recommend creating a list of activities, people, and environments that recharge, renew, and enhance your energy. 

Then when you're in crisis mode, you can get out your list and remember how to come back to yourself.

To get you started thinking about what works for you, here are some things that work for me:

    * Doing spa-at-home treatments
    * Getting a massage
    * Taking Epsom salts baths
    * Talking to close, mutually supportive friends
    * Reading
    * Listening to music on iTunes,www.pandora.com,   
or favorite CDs
    * Meditating
    * Getting outside
    * Being in the sunshine
    * walking
  

discovering...day 22

random photos to share.
the sun came out today.
first day in about 12.
i wrapped a quilt around me
and sat out on a dewy lawn chair.
it was chilly on the toes,
but heavenly on the nose...

it was fresh and misty and sparkly all at the same time.
it was a beautiful thing.
it couldn't have arrived at a better time.
i have been re-charged.

this was the sun rising up...
i was ridiculously happy to say good-morning to her.
all these dark days lately
really sucked the energy out of me.
i usually don't feel it until mid winter...
when i've had enough of the cold
and the short days.
***
thankfully i do see more sun in the forecast...
but just to be safe i'll double the spinach
in my morning smoothie :)

discovering...day 21

Definition of Tact:  Acute sensitivity to what is proper and appropriate in dealing with others, including the ability to speak or act without offending.

discovering...day 20

everyone has experienced being hurt
by the actions or words of another.
most people have lasting feelings of anger and/or sadness.

if you are a highly sensitive person
the wounds are that much deeper
and the pain is that much more difficult to live with.

forgiveness is a bitter pill,
but it is one of the most important actions to take.
forgiveness means that you make a decision
to let go of resentment.
hsp, because they relive, over think
and feel such strong emotions,
must learn to forgive.
it has to be a choice and the effort needs to be made.

forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's
responsibility for hurting you
and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong.
you can forgive the person
without excusing the act.

there are great health benefits to forgiving.
lower blood pressure,
less stress,
fewer symptoms of depression,
anxiety and chronic pain...
and a lower risk of alcohol or substance abuse.

forgiveness is an act of caring for yourself...
it is our responsibility to take control of our life.

discovering...day 19

no photos today...
i will keep this short and to the point.
i have not really gotten into my own personal life
too deeply over the last 19 days...but i am in the middle
of a cycle that my body goes through often and i can't pretend
it's not affecting me. it's what happens to me when i don't do the work...the re-charging. 
this time of the year is not easy or enjoyable for me. it's a sad anniversary...it's not comfortable to remember her birthday. but i do manage. i work at thinking positive and i try to carry on, but my body can't deal with the extra amount of emotion i feel. i'm being really honest right now. i hate to admit this....but i know when to holler "uncle".  i need to listen to my body. it always reminds me if i haven't dealt with any kind of stress properly and it is right in my face this week. seven days of headache. seven days of pain...and just when it goes away it shows up somewhere new. tonight it decided to attack my left hand. completely out of nowhere, without a reason. this is what happens...it just moves around my body.
but like every time before, i will wait it out and hope for a bunch of good days ahead...pain free days. i will make the choice to do the work to get me there.

xox

discovering...day 18

"A touch is a blow,
a sound is a noise.
A misfortune is a tragedy,
a joy is an ecstasy.
A friend is a lover,
a lover is god
and failure is death."
-Pearl S. Buck
Pulitzer Prize winner 1932
***
it's late and my photos are still
away with my beloved macbook...
so you get cherries.
i love cherries.
xox
something funny to share with you...
today i had the tv on while i folded laundry
(it's never on during the day)
and for some reason it ended up on
the full day of this season's re-runs of
"Gene Simmons Family Jewels".
so between walking the dog and running errands
i caught a few (ok, maybe 8) episodes.
Gene Simmons made me cry...
and then i was hooked...
watched the wedding tonight also.
weddings make me cry.
it was good tv.
(i can't believe it either!)

day 17...are you raising a highly sensitive child?

my laptop had to go in for repairs...and this pc is not cooperating...so i will just do my best and not get too upset about it not coming out perfect. i loved this print the moment i saw it on etsy. i should have taken down the artist's name...but i didn't.........so let's say we're at day 17 alright? today i'm going to talk about the highly sensitive child. you need to appreciate that this is a wonderful trait. they do not need any special handling other than having their special needs and sometimes intense reactions and behaviors understood. anytime correction is needed, it must be done with special care so that they don't become anxious or ashamed of their failures. these children are often gifted intellectually, creatively and emotionally. often demonstrating genuine compassion at a very early age.  the downside is that these kids can get overwhelmed easily by crowds, noises, new situations, sudden changes and the emotional distress of others. here are some basic rules to follow...see it as a gift. partner with your child. focus on their strengths. accept them unconditionally. create calmness in their lives. give them gentle discipline. connect with other highly sensitive children.

31 days...discovering more about myself.

ok...i will not be posting until monday...
my house is being taken over by grown men.
mikey has invited them to play golf this weekend.
i won't be able to think straight. :)
xox

i should come with a warning label.
I CRY.
 i'm not depressed.
i am just sensitive.
i REALLY feel my emotions.
if i am really happy, i cry.
if i am really angry, i cry.
and of course if i am sad, i cry.

beautiful photos of my girls can make me cry.
songs on the radio...
or a live concert.
nostalgic things...like my childhood wallpaper...
or remembering old friendships.
the smell of a greasy auto shop or a christmas candle.
a pickle.
if my hairdresser is extra sweet to me.
or my wonderful doctor "gets me".
if a friend is having a bad day...
or a good day.

don't worry about it.
i'm fine.
there is nothing wrong with crying.
it feels good.

discovering...day 12

i've never met anyone who adores clouds like i do.
i could literally watch them all day.
when i am in the middle of cloud gazing
i don't think i have much else on my mind.
a simple way to meditate perhaps?
i have lots of cloud photos.
they honestly just make me happy.

highly sensitive people SEE things differently
than 80% of the population.
they have a knack
for seeing what others CAN'T.

they have an overpowering necessity
to create, create, create...

they write, play music....they paint....
they love photography.

i am always thinking "visually".
it's not enough for me to write, but i feel it needs
the image to go with it.
it helps satisfy my need to create...

i am realizing that i have a strong desire
to fill my days with more creativity.
i've always felt guilty about it...
because i believed that being creative
was just meant to be a hobby...
saved for spare time.
HSP need to do what brings them joy.
everyday.
it's just how we're wired.
i suppose that's why the world is full of
"starving artists".
they're just listening to their hearts.
i'll bet they're happy.
xox
back tomorrow...with another fun tidbit of information...
i cry often.

discovering...day 10 & 11

that was a very long 4 day weekend.
knowing what you know about me now,
imagine this....
husband home with a toothache for THREE days.
(including thanksgiving dinner)
he was in PAIN.
(he is not good with pain)

oldest daughter has a "boy" now and she was hardly home.
lots to think about there...
think, think, think..........

12 came to thanksgiving dinner.
it was a busy house.
everything was delicious.
i was only 1/2 hour behind schedule
and i am pretty darn happy with that.
the turkey was glazed with cranberries and maple syrup.
it smelled amazing in this busy house.
busy, busy, busy.
(hsp get frustrated when they have to do a lot
in a short period of time)
(they try hard not to make mistakes)
elsie was so sweet and AWARE.
she played my Josh Groban cds.
(his voice does something to me)

so...this is all i've got for 10 & 11.
what was i thinking?...31 days?
i'll do my best though...
give me another day to recover.
(i'm smiling...it was a lovely weekend)
just LOOK at that sunset!

i love my hot tub.
i love it in the morning.
i love it in the afternoon.
i love it in the evening.

i also love the flowers that emma's boy gave her today...
i'm borrowing them.